Thursday, 16 April 2015

A journey over the edge

Have you ever lost yourself? Lost everything and people around you don't even notice? that happened to me, its actually happening to me now. In the short time span I've been on this earth I've been through more than I'd ever admit. A long time ago I knew what happiness was, going about life with very little care in the world. Then one day it all got torn away. Each day I wake up not sure of myself, I seek comfort in the unconventional. For most of my teenage years I cried myself to sleep, withdrew into a shell I never knew I possessed. When I turned 14 I discovered poetry, so I let my soul bleed over the page as the ink became my tears. My words scar those with pure minds, break the hearts of the compassionate and still I'm scarred for life. When I turned 16 I accidentally found comfort in a razor blade, I knew it was wrong but I was under the illusion that as the blood seeped through, so did my troubles. I stopped cutting at 18 and I've never needed a razor again. I'm still stuck in my shell and I find comfort in the darkness and in music, I still have hope that I will eventually heal, my heart will stop being scarred and so will my mentality. Hoping I'll go back to enjoying life to the fullest. All I can do is take it one day at a time and take things as they come. People may not understand but if they let me figure it out then maybe they just might be able to help me. At the moment I'm fine on my own even though i sound stubborn and ungrateful. I don't want to lose myself again, because I haven't found all of myself yet,but when I do I will make my way back to people.

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