Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Secret Admirer

It started about 8 months ago, that’s when I first saw him and started admiring him from a distance, depicted within are the emotions I’ve been going through and how I have been dealing with them. Thank you for reading.  

WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU

I am a student and this is where I can truly say I fell in-love. It was a few weeks after campus began and I was walking along the corridor that lead to the balcony/bridge that led to the S-Block. I was busy staring at my phone and laughing at something my friend had sent me, then I heard the familiar screech of wheels on tiles.

I’d know that sound anywhere cause back home my aunt would always scream at me ,” take the death trap you call a skateboard outside because it damages my tiles”. I felt him before I even saw him, there was a change in the energy when he was around, when I looked up I swear I almost dropped my phone as I blatantly stared at the cute guy with the board at his side.

All I could do was stand there and stare. Something about him just made me want to go up to him and say hi or even more, maybe it was the way his whole face lit up when he smiled and set free those adorable dimples, or maybe it was just the fact that he was hot, anyway I didn’t know. I don’t know how long I stood there until someone bumped into me and I rushed off to class feeling stupid.

When I got to class I was ‘zombified, I just stared at my lecturer and nodded to whatever my friends said. All that was on my mind was how cute that guy was, how his lip piercing glinted in the light, how the t-shirt he’s wearing hugged his upper body, how his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed with his friends.

I was like that every time I saw him, I’d lose concentration in class as my mind wondered off to thoughts of him. I wondered what his name was, maybe I should ask him, but then I remembered who I am, I’d scold myself for being so stupid. No matter what I’d say to myself it wouldn’t stop my heart from fluttering it still doesn’t.

This happened for a whole semester but after a month I learnt not to stare in a obvious way, I didn’t lose my line of thought when I saw him, I was almost back to normal and I was thankful for that. The fact that I saw him on a semi-daily basis was driving me insane. I then decided to avoid seeing him as it was proving to be a bit unhealthy for the wellbeing of my state of mind, so I decided to be childish and if I saw him, I’d turn around and find another route to wherever I was going.

This proved to be effective for the rest of the year and I was quite happy with it, as I had the full function of my mind but there were still times when I found myself wondering about him, thinking of what he might be doing, where he might be and who he might be with. Now the latter was a bit of a problem but I forced my mind to accept that he was off limits and always would be because I’ll never be anyone in his circle so I should stop fooling myself.

The flaw to my perfect system started showing its cracks in the beginning of the current year as we got back to campus. I decided to change courses from mainstream to a new, exciting field, I then discovered I’d have a class with the students in their year, I told myself not to freak out as the course was optional for them.

I was busy dreaming about kissing those gorgeous lips when my stupid alarm decided to go off, i grabbed it and smashed it across the wall, it just had to go off during the fun part.

i finally pulled myself out of bed and took a cold shower. i went to my closet to find something to wear, my eyes lock on a pair of woolen stockings that you just want to hug, i spot a black dress and decide on my fuzzy boots. after getting  dressed i grab my grey trench coat and leave my room. i grab an apple for breakfast, grab my bag by the door and head off to hell.

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