Monday, 28 July 2014

Im awake at 3 in the mornin thinkin about goin 2 church 4 a confession, maybe its time i pay 4 the perfect crime, i look around 2 find chaos and destruction im free but still held within constrictions, i do what i can 4 satisfaction tryin not to commit to life

The one

Who is she? if you really n3d to know, she is the one i hate. she is the one who punishes me day and night, she is the one who fucks up my mentality, she is the one i hate... i hate her with such passion that the air between us surges with static electricity

Lost Soul

my head is a out of order jumble, my mind is like a African jungle. amidst all this confusion and despair, i get a chance to get some air. as i breath in the rejuvinating scents of nature, i get a whif of something different something manly and mature.

Emptiness

The knife glints in the night. It feels cold against my hot skin. First it carasses me. Then it plunges itself so deep the depth is unimaginable. I lose myself in the pain, agony and anguish. My heart rate decreases. Blood gushes out of the nonchaland wound. Peace finally comes when darkness consumes me.

The inspirational Sara Moon.

Sara Moon and her work have recently become a big inspiration for me. I found out about her from my friend named Sarah. Her work is soulful, it’s work that obviously comes from a very deep and emotional person because it provokes the viewer in a deep and meaningful way. Her work is pure. I’m sure she has never had her work in photoshop, ever. I love that about it. It’s grainy, soft focused, blurry at times and utterly flawless.

I recently found this video and 5 seconds in, I was hooked. To hear one of the great masters of fashion photography speak her mind about the art and the craft is a gift. And so I listened and learned. I replayed one section over a few times. It was so beautiful, the way she described her process of shooting fashion. It reminded me of my own process, my own desire to capture a moment, an instant where everything makes sense to me and the line between reality and delusion is blurred. I believe magic resides on that line, and magic is what I as a photographer, try to create. I want to seduce my viewers and please my audience with visual pleasure. The section I am speaking of is where she talks about how she has the model in front of her but she’s not “seeing” the shot. So she waits. The model becomes discouraged. She take a few photographs to appease the model but still, nothing. She begins to panic, telling herself she doesn’t want to be a photographer anymore ( I can’t tell you how many times I say this to myself and others. You’d be surprised, probably). But then something changes! Maybe, she says, I’m at the right place at the right time. Or maybe it’s because she starts to believe in it. But for a split second she sees a sparkle of beauty passing by and then everything goes so quickly within that stillness and she’s carried away….at last she likes what she is seeing and she can’t stop finding it and then losing it. All day long she keeps on, because it once existed. And that is absolutely the process for me of taking photographs. Chasing something I see that lasted a second. A moment of grace. A moment of beauty. Sometimes it can never be recaptured.Sometimes it’s gone, disappeared, never to return. But I’ll tell you what….. I’m going to die trying.

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